Usually I have a bright face and a positive disposition about my disability… but right I just don’t have enough strength. With Tarsal Tunnel Syndrome, there are good days and there are bad days. On my good days, my feet only hurt a medium amount and I can go about my day with only minor painful incidents. But today was a bad day. From the second my damn 6:45am alarm went off, I knew it was going to be a bad day because my feet were already burning and I hadn’t even gotten out of bed.
My first class at 8am started with a quiz, for which I studied for two hours last night (with help from the best boyfriend ever!). That part was good… I got a 100%! I also received a pretty good grade in my next class on my weekly response paper and did well on the daily quiz. But then I had to walk back to my car and drive myself all the way over to the farthest building on campus to visit my Audiology professor’s office hours. He’s the head of the Communicative Disorders department and is a really great professor. But my conversation with him was rough as I learned the mediocre grades I’ve been receiving aren’t quite what I need to get into the grad school program. Time to re-evaluate my life. Again.
The presentation my group gave in my next class went well (we got a 100%). But by the time I had finished my first class today I knew that I wasn’t going to be able to make it all day with the excruciating pain radiating around my feet and ankles. I went home after that class because I could barely stand up. I walked out the door of the building and it was pouring. Because the weather was fairly nice earlier in the day, I hadn’t brought an umbrella, especially because they’re pretty hard to carry with a cane in the other hand. I also discovered that my purple Columbia jacket does not have a hood. And on the completely wrong side of the block from the bus going towards the parking lot. When I got to the end of the street, there was no bus stop. Since I never go home directly after that class, I had no idea where the bus stop was. I kept walking, rain dripping down my face, sliding into my eyes, ears, and mouth. Two buses passed me without stopping as I frantically waved from the sidewalk with the hand not holding my cane. Finally the third bus stopped after I had walked half a mile in the bucketing rain with my swollen disabled feet. I practically had to drag my wet, limp body onto the bus… but at least there was a bus. After walking another long distance through the parking lot I finally made it to my car that deliciously reeked of this morning’s stale dirt-colored iced coffee that I forgot to throw out of my console.
Also, I really really had to pee.
On the bright side, I did get to catch up with an acquaintance of mine from middle/high school who declared “I love your blog!” which totally made my day. She was even nice enough to enquire about the state of my feet. I hope she’s reading now so she sees how much it meant to me for somebody to tell me that they read and like my blog. Sometimes I pretend that nobody reads my blog so that I don’t have any problems being completely honest about my life, but it’s also nice to be reminded every once in a while that, yeah, people are reading, and they actually enjoy it too!