Like I mentioned this morning, today I went for my annual doctor’s appointment. There’s mainly two things I think about in relation to going to my GP and they are, (1) the hot gay nurse that’s super sweet, and (2) I’m going to find out how much I weigh.
I definitely don’t weight myself very often, if ever. The scale in our house isn’t anywhere near my room, either, so when I rarely do attempt to weigh myself, I can never remember. When I do weigh myself, I always do it right when I get up in the morning, but normally I’m so excited about breakfast that I completely zone out and don’t remember that I told myself I was going to use the scale that day.
Last year I remember having the best day going to the doctors. I was right in the middle of losing all that weight and was more than pleasantly surprised to see the awesome number on the scale. I practically jumped up and down in front of everybody. But this year, I knew that because I’ve been so inactive lately, it was going to be higher than I want it. I’ve been so happy lately because I’ve done such a good job this month staying healthy. But when my doctor brought up the fact that I’m “fifteen pounds heavier than last year,” it was like a bullet to my heart. I wanted to explain to her – “I’m healthy, you know! I have a healthy living blog. I know how to do this stuff. I eat healthy, I exercise, I drink water, I get enough sleep.” But she doesn’t know all that, so when she brought all of those things up I just felt so patronized. I know she has to say all of that to everybody, but the fact that I’m sitting here trying to help other people with that stuff and she’s trying to help me… It just was not a feeling I particularly liked.
I’m not a huge fan of negative reinforcement in general, but I guess I should try to use this experience as something along those lines. If I don’t like the feeling of being overweight at the doctors office then don’t be overweight at the doctors office next year. I don’t know what I’m going to look like in a year, but I know it’s going to be a whole lot different than I look right now. And I’m really excited.